


to my love, if it's alright to call you that

by tdchrs



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: :(, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, i wrote this because i had an unholy urge to write angst, if ur alone on valentine's day.. soobin is too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29173095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tdchrs/pseuds/tdchrs
Summary: soobin approaches the pink box laying peacefully on the bed, his name visibly written neatly on the tag. he nears it with immense caution, as if expecting a monster to come out from within. he opens the box, inside with a phone he was all too familiar with. the screen turns on, as if it was chirping a hello at him, the wallpaper reading: "to choi soobin, happy valentine's day! the passcode is my birthday, you already know it. go to the photos app!"with shaky hands he opens the phone and enters the photos app, only to be greeted by a cheerful video from his lost love and tearful unsaid goodbyes.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	to my love, if it's alright to call you that

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in less than 30 mins so pls forgive me if it's not tht good
> 
> also! this is written based off of the song 'uwu' by chevy!!

soobin enters the dorm room, waves of nostalgia and a jutting sadness hitting him although he had visited just a day before. the walls were covered in timeless pictures, many of which soobin himself were in, cabinets filled to the brim with notebooks with no more space left for words, and miniscule car models that sat on top, old and collecting dust. it was all too familiar to choi soobin.

he turns on a light next to him, the night sky image beaming from the window, stars twinkling in the midnight sky. a familiar clock on a familiar nightstand beams with the numbers of 11:56 pm.

but what catches his eye the most in this particular room is a baby pink box, wrapped neatly in a rose colored ribbon with a bow sitting daintily on top of the bed. a tag sticks out from beneath the bow’s folds, which soobin could read clearly who it was addressed to even from a slight distance. _to choi soobin_.

soobin approaches the box with utmost caution, as if it was a box that held a monster inside and could swallow him in any minute. wary, he opens the box, being greeted by none other than a phone. a phone also familiar to him, much like the rest of this room.

the screen opens as if chirping a hello at him, the wallpaper reading: "to choi soobin, happy valentine's day! the passcode is my birthday, you already know it. go to the photos app! <3"

his heart feels a pinch. _valentine’s day? that’s only in four minutes._ with shaky hands and his heart thumping heavily, he enters the numbers “0313” and presses the multicolored flower icon adorning the app.

a video appears for him, and he taps the play button. it’s a familiar brown haired, sparkly eyed boy with his familiar chestnut colored guitar. “i hope this thing is on, soobin,” the familiar boy says, a concentrated expression prominent on his face. “it’s valentine’s day, and you never fucking shut up about being alone on valentine’s, so i’ll sing a song for you and ask you to be my valentine or maybe something more than that so you’ll shut up, okay?”

soobin cracks a small smile and breathes out a slight chuckle, two actions he hasn’t done in the past 24 hours.

the boy clears his throat and positions his trained fingers on the guitar’s broad fretboard, and begins to strum a small tune, timing it perfectly for his voice to come in.

_i’m starting to feel some sort of way_  
_you give me goosebumps every day_  
_and when you look at me and smile i wanna say_  
_i.. think you’re okay_

soobin’s eyes fill with tears, heartache, grief, and pure fondness flooding his emotional state.

_your stupid face makes me insane_

soobin’s tears start to fall, knowing he could never see the boy’s face light up with smiles ever again.

_my heart feels like it’s trapped in cellophane_

soobin’s breaths hitch in his throat, knowing his heart continues to beat while the familiar boy's heart has stopped for good.

_and everytime i try to unwrap the pain, i .. feel so ashamed_  
_oh, but you don’t know how i feel.. it’s like everyday i’m running uphill_  
_why can’t i just spit it out and tell you right now_  
_that you’re the one i want, out loud…_

the ironically cheerful guitar melody continues to strum in the background as soobin’s sobs increase, knowing that he had longed and dreamed for years for their friendship to grow into something more complex, something other than friends. but never in this way.

never in the way where his childhood friend and longtime secret crush choi beomgyu had to be killed in a car accident only a few hours before, after leaving his dorm and crossing the street on his way to teach a guitar lesson.

he should be here with him, watching the video by his side. soobin xould practically see beomgyu next to him, envisioning the pink tinge highlighted onto his cheeks and his black hair partly spilling over his eyes.

he had never wanted it to go this way.

_i guess i’ll stop here, and not hint at all_  
_that you’re the one i’ve.. fallen for_  
_and if you ever think of me as anything more_  
_i’ll.. be here at your call._

“you couldn’t be here with me gyu, no matter how hard i wish and pray, you’re never going to be by my side again,” soobin whispers under his breath, tears flooding down his wet cheeks.

“that’s all my love, if it’s alright for me to call you that. i love you, happy valentine’s day soob, let’s have a great day together!”

the video fades into black again, and the room is filled with soobin’s quiet sobs and pleas for beomgyu to return in some way, shape, or form, just so soobin could give his first and only love one final goodbye.

the clock on beomgyu’s nightstand catches his weary eyes, now reading the time at 12 am. valentine’s day.

soobin looks up to the ceiling, imagining past the stars and the skies, and only envisioning choi beomgyu. “happy valentine’s day, beomgyu. i hope we have that great day together someday."

he pauses slightly, taking in the stillness of the air around him and imagining as if beomgyu was truly there with him in that moment.

"i wish you were here with me so i could finally call you my love," soobin whispers softly, hot tears filled with regret welling up in the corners of his eyes. "you have been my love for as long as i remember, and will forever be my love even when we reunite again in the heavens and stars above."

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed this very short soogyu fic :3 my twitter is @tdchrs so if u ever wanna reach out to me !! i'm there :) unless i've deactivated because of school lol but thank u v much for reading i hope u have a great day


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